10yrs on – Where Are We Now and How Did We Get Here? It’s Become Time To Shatter The ‘False Allegations are Vanishingly Rare’ Myth Once And For All

Some might be familiar with the very first piece I wrote on the subject of false allegations.

Written 7 years after my husband’s initial arrest, 6 years after a summons to trial in Scotland was not called and the claims deemed ‘not a crime’ in the Sheriff Court in Scotland and 3 years after his formal acquittal of 13 charges in the Crown Court in England, it was the first step to where I am today in terms of ‘Speaking Up and Speaking Out’ (another piece I wrote in 2023).

Coincidentally, all these events took place at the same time of year, and even the first article I wrote was written in the same week as the anniversary of the arrest, a coincidence not noticed by me until relatively recently. I’d call it serendipity but there’s little that’s happy or beneficial about it that I can find. It does, however, provide a ready-made time slot for reflection, and I write this in the week of the 10^th anniversary of his arrest.

No doubt everyone is familiar with the ubiquitous interview question – where do you see yourself in 5yrs, (even 10yrs), time, and I was often tempted to say ‘in your seat’ as a flippant and light-hearted response. In fact, the only time I did say that, I got the job! However, I doubt that anyone would want to be in my seat right now, or that of anyone else touched by the scourge of false allegations.

A little over 10 years ago I was newly returned from the USA where I had spent the previous 12 years. My father was quickly sliding into the fog of Alzheimers and my husband kept a promise that he had made to him when we left – that we would return to England and I was not gone forever. We had visited regularly but every year is not the same as every week for a man who is finding it hard to remember anything of substance. My lovely husband wanted to make sure I had ‘quality’ time with my father before he forgot who I was.

We returned to the UK expecting it to be only another couple of years before we could both retire and enjoy time with family that we hadn’t seen ‘properly’ for any length of time for so long, time with grandchildren and perhaps travel too, even though one of our grandchildren had already been alienated from their mother, and by default us, by false allegations. Unfortunately, we didn’t see the signs of what was to come. Few think ‘their’ family capable of such awfulness, I’ve discovered. While I’m painfully aware that things could have been very much worse for us – my husband was never bailed away from home, (in fact he was required to sleep at home, an odd bail condition when we lived opposite a primary school if he really was guilty of offences against a child and I’ll never understand the thinking of the OIC), we didn’t have young children in our home that he was forbidden contact with and he didn’t have to deal with the trauma of a trial, much less a wrongful conviction and a jail sentence, suicidal thoughts never became acted upon - the consequences were still relevant to our age and at times unbearable.

Some members of our family and, consequently, some grandchildren still consider us both ‘personas non grata’, him because they had made the accusation and still maintain the belief that ‘he got away with it’ or they supported the accusers and believe likewise, and me because I stood by him and fought to help prove his innocence thereby failing to protect our grandchildren. Some have shifted sides as it suited their own agendas. Not for us or anyone in our circumstances ‘it’s up to the prosecution to prove guilt, not to the defendant to prove innocence’. No, that clearly wasn’t going to work here. Friends have occupied both ends of the spectrum, some fiercely supportive, and others let the allegations shatter a friendship half a century in the making.

10 years on, my husband’s health has deteriorated beyond recognition, and I don’t believe it’s simply down to aging. His mobility is fragile, though a hip replacement has helped markedly and he still suffers some lingering effects of a stroke last year, which I am convinced was brought on by the stress which has never gone away. It’s a well-known medical fact that mental health affects physical health in all sorts of ways. There is no history of stroke in his family – it’s all heart attacks, cancers and brain tumours. There are too many who still use the accusations as a stick to beat us with and refuse to accept the fact of his legal innocence or factual. They have been used as a weapon to attack us on other areas of our lives and those who still support us and the negativity carries far more weight than anything positive. The hoped-for travel is out of the question for the most part and most of the funds earmarked for retirement pleasures were spent on warding off legal proceedings and a jail sentence. I don’t say ‘clearing his name’ as there are too many who still claim that he ‘got away with it’. There is no new start, no new beginning and no clean slate. No-one’s name is ever completely cleared. Those accused and even acquitted in a court of law carry the burden forever in one way or many, and I say none of this to garner sympathy, but simply to state facts to the many who insist that ‘a false allegation is no big deal’. Our falsely accused children experienced similar age-related consequences and their children, our grandchildren, suffer immeasurably. It’s ALWAYS a HUGE deal, even though it’s sometimes possible to build a ‘life after the event’.

Anna Doherty of Spoken Injustice addresses all the finer, practical points of this in ‘Freedom with Chains’ here for those wrongfully convicted and many of those points apply to those simply arrested and charged, never mind getting as far as a wrongful conviction. ‘What could have been’ still gives me occasional nightmares.

That said, we find joy in where we live and the friends and family who know the truth and love us bring us joy, but it’s not what we planned. The saying ‘life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans’ wears a bit thin at times.

What I also didn’t plan was acquiring the knowledge that hundreds if not thousands of people are in similar boats; that the justice system we have is crumbling around our ears and the loudest voices, the ones the media seem to want to give megaphones to, are the ones that want to keep it that way.

It’s not just the legal system crumbling, it’s every government-created system that affects our everyday lives, from Family Court to CMS to HMRC to anything that can be manipulated by anyone seeking to cause harm to anyone else, because besides not working efficiently and causing harm that way, all those organisations are breeding grounds for false allegations of one sort or another. It’s not gender based, but it is gender biased and the last 10 years have led me to the knowledge that statistics and ideology are used to manipulate facts. They allow people to shout certain things from the rooftops without basis or confirmation and manipulate an unthinking public into believing myths of all kinds.

Only 2% of rape/sexual assault accusations are false – says who? How was that determined?

Rape crime is only rarely prosecuted. Then why is it estimated by prominent legal counsel that up to 79% of cases in the courts involve rape or sexual crime?

Women and girls don’t lie about rape. Really? Then why are there reports on court cases that say exactly the opposite directly from the mouth of multiple people pleading guilty to perverting the course of justice? Why are investigations of rape claims closed because CCTV, an alibi or other evidence proves the lie?

Women don’t commit sexual crimes. Tell that to many a man and schoolboy.

And worse -

Why are some so desperate to have rape reports believed that they argue that the accused shouldn’t be allowed to look for evidence of lying or present it at trial? Dr Proudman and colleagues, Refuge and Women’s Aid, I’m looking at you.

Why are some so desperate to have children removed from a parent on the basis of the say-so of the other parent that they campaign to have the presumption of contact removed in the Family Court? Far too many parents report that their contact with their children was halted on the basis of false allegations and a judge saying ‘I have no opinion on these allegations but I must err on the side of caution’. Dr Proudman and colleagues, Refuge and Women’s Aid, I’m looking at you again.

It dawned upon me about this time last year – November-ish yet again – that just saying ‘no you’re wrong’ to the notion that false allegations are ‘vanishingly rare’, the catchy phrase picked up by feminists and MP’s alike, wasn’t enough. That misinformation and obfuscation and sometimes downright lies need to be countered with hard facts and that while, over the years, some attempts have been made to document the truth about the frequency of false accusations, they are patchy and incomplete and just as importantly, the phrase itself is undefined.

It’s also clear that the falsely accused are often consumed by embarrassment that does not belong in their psyche, guilt that belongs to others and ill health that should have been years in the future, if they suffered it at all, making it difficult for them to come forward and raise their voices. Additionally, too many have died by suicide or been killed by stress-induced cancers that should never have happened.

So, where are we, my husband and I, now, 10 years on?

Doing something that the authorities, MP’s, police, many lawyers and feminists refuse to do – collating as much factual information as I can, putting it on a website my husband built, and getting it out there for all to see.

Get a flavour of what it’s about here when I had a conversation with the wonderful Anna Doherty of Spoken Injustice, and take a look at the website I’m creating here which is still in its infant state but will be amended and added to on a regular basis from now on.

Those with the agenda to allow convictions without exculpatory evidence, determined to make rape and sexual assault convictions the result of achieved targets rather than truth have, I hope, had their day.

The three of our children who have fought false allegations in the Family Courts in three different countries have played their part too and challenged the systems as hard as they can. They and all of their children have suffered probably lifelong emotional damage, as have my husband and I, but unlike so many who claim to be victims of rape and sexual assault, none of us proclaim ourselves victims, not of false accusations, or as victims of rape or sexual assault where applicable. As a family, we’ve seen both sides of that coin, as have many others. It’s not an ‘us and them’ debate.

I used to think that people on all sides of these debates – several sides and several debates – were honestly doing the best they could in the best way they knew how with the best interests of others, especially children, at heart. I now know differently. I know that many are motivated by what they think of as visibility, by what they pursue as prestige and what they can make in terms of money. There are others who think that they are protecting children when they are doing anything but. Lawyers, social workers, teachers, and so many others all spout platitudes such as ‘it’s the system’ (it shouldn’t be), ‘there’s nothing I can do’ (you can but you won’t), ‘truth will out’ (not always), ‘the children will come back to you in the end’ (not necessarily), and on and on. They say anything that means that they don’t have to do anything constructive NOW; anything to put off what needs to be done TODAY until another time, if ever - and even if unwittingly -  those out to cause harm by making a false allegation are left to wreak their havoc.

10 years on the systems are worse than they ever were. Complainants and defendants are waiting longer to get to trial, more people are maintaining their innocence than ever before and ‘the system’ is ever more unwilling to admit mistakes as it puts blocks in the way of anyone who tries to expose the faults and any injustice done to them. The justice system is nothing more than another industry, totally disinterested in truth or justice and, therefore, morally bankrupt.

It has to be said that Scotland has a currently visible issue with the notion of fair trials with claims that its ‘rape shield’ laws violate a defendant’s right to a fair trial under the provisions of the ECHR. The UK Supreme Court received an application the 10^th September 2024 regarding the fairness of the trials of David Daly and Andrew Kier to test that notion. Its judgment and consideration of the submission by the Law Society of Scotland and the Faculty of Advocates to the Supreme Court in relation to that was issued on 12^th November 2025, 10yrs and 1 day after my husband’s arrest, an interesting happenstance.

That judgement provided a pinprick of light at the end of a very long tunnel. While the appeals of David Daly and Andrew Kier were dismissed in terms of Human Rights violations that day, the concerns of the Scottish Law Society and the Faculty of Advocates were accepted and David Daly had his convictions quashed, verbally, the following day on other grounds, but it remains to seen what, in fact, gets published and made public.

It remains to be seen though, how that will play out in future trials and appeals, especially given the disappointments for Messrs Daly and Kier in it not being ruled that their Human Rights were violated; disappointments that some have already identified as The Establishment wanting its cake and eating it. It’s arguably a bizarre decision that serves, not justice, but an establishment protecting itself, justice being wrested from the system in teeny, tiny steps as it kicks and screams in protest, see a summary here.

As for ‘the system protecting itself, the Supreme Court hearing on 12^th November 2025 addressing David Daly’s other appeal points has been removed from the internet on the grounds of ‘safeguarding the identity of vulnerable individuals’. A cynic might say ‘the band played ‘Believe It If You Like’’. I suspect it’s much more to do with the explosive nature of various comments throughout the hearing such as ‘wrong police and crown conduct could have been the case for many wrongful convictions’ and ‘the trial would have looked very different if there had been full disclosure’. Let’s see if and when the judgement gets published and what gets edited out; what excuse will be presented if it becomes necessary to explain away why upholding an appeal is not made public knowledge. And, let’s see if the vocal feminists who want to deny the right of any accused person to fully and properly defend themselves have anything to say anytime soon. They are remarkably quiet at the moment.

I learned a long time ago that one way to get things done was to not care about who got the credit for doing it. My project now is to record as many provable false allegations as possible and to try to make visible the allegations any right thinking person knows are false but cannot be proved, It is something that I do not expect to be complete in my lifetime but others will take the baton in due course.

I hope that there is tumultuous applause, real and metaphorical, when it can be said with certainty ‘2% of rape allegations are false? Don’t be ridiculous!!’ and ‘False allegations are rare? Phttt!! Nonsense!!!’ and I don’t mind who gets the credit for it or how long it takes (within reason – there are too many suffering in prison for it to not be an urgent task.)

It just needs to be done.

By Felicity Stryjak

Felicity Stryjak is retired having worn many hats in her life so far, teacher and paralegal among them. She was born in Torquay in 1953 and has lived in a variety of interesting places both in the UK and abroad. She intends Scotland to be her final place of abode. More recently Felicity created Falsely Accused Database to challenge the myth that false allegations are 'vanishingly rare'.

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