The helplessness in which men find themselves in recent years.
'The lies and statements full of contempt and hatred against me were and still are brutal. She caricatures me as a beast and compares me to Charles Manson and Hannibal Lecter. After months of enduring her denigrations and, when feminist groups began lobbying my workplace to fire me, I sued her for defamation.'
My name is Lutz Alexander Keferstein, I am a lawyer, philosopher, and musician, and I work for a public university in Mexico.
In December 2016, a header appeared on my Facebook timeline that read:
"Please, I need good people to help me. I can't do it alone."
The message came from an ex-girlfriend, DA, whose relationship had ended eleven years earlier, in 2005, after three and a half years of dating.
We began our relationship in February 2002. I had not heard from her for more than three years, nor had I thought about her or kept her in my mind. In our last communication, she told me that her younger brother had committed suicide. I was concerned and fearful that she would make the same mistake as her brother and that I had done nothing to prevent it, so I contacted her and asked her about her state of mind and life.
Her answers, which were more and more incoherent, made me realize that she was in a state of psychosis, and I instantly regretted having let her back into my life. During the following weeks she contacted me several times a day to claim that acquaintances of hers were kidnappers, thieves, and even murderers and that she needed my help to inform the world of what criminals they were.
Her Facebook profile was riddled with defamatory, spiteful, and aggressive messages against some people. To her conversations, I responded as elusively as possible. At the same time, inside, I waited for the slightest opportunity to block her from my networks because I knew that, soon, she would express herself about me as she expressed herself about everyone, including her siblings, her mother, and her father. I blocked her on January 2, 2017.
The defamations against me were not long in coming. DA pointed me out of having raped her, having been perverted, providing child pornography, insulting, violating and psychologically abusing her; all acts that I find repulsive and that I would never carry out because I believe in goodwill and goodness.
She went so far as to claim that the German and Israeli governments were targeting me because, in her fantasies, she also claims that I and my family are Nazis - I am half German - even if I have dedicated my life to speaking about the importance of universal love. I have even published a book where I strongly criticize racism and another about Kant and his moral system!
Moreover, at the beginning of her defamations, she claimed that I had forced her to have an abortion in March 2004. But then she changed her version to a more truthful one. She had indeed become pregnant in December 2003, and when we discovered her pregnancy, I asked her to marry me. She responded:
"I could never tell my father I would have your child."
They were rich, and I was not. That was the reason. Despite my pleas, she miscarried, and I unwittingly, mistakenly, accepted her decision. But from that moment on, I instantly stopped loving her; it was as if something had broken and a void was left inside me, as if, along with my baby, a part of me had also died, taking my love for DA with it.
Despite this, I tried to continue the relationship because I considered it ethical not to leave her alone after that process. But the following year, she started dating someone else - a young man named Marco, who made her his lover - and I could not take it anymore. I ended the relationship.
DA sought my presence, help, and support for years when things were not going well. They were getting worse and worse because of the terrible decisions she was making little by little - perhaps because she was losing her mind, until she reached the apparent state of psychosis in which she is now, or for whatever reason. By her own admission she began to take drugs, to steal, and be part of "revolutionary movements" (later alluded to as kidnappers, thieves, and murderers by herself).
Today, she blames me for all her bad decisions because, she says, I was the one who traumatized her with my "bestial way of being". However, as anyone can attest, I am a good, kind, and sweet man. I am not perfect; I am human, and, like everyone else, I have made errors of judgment in life. Indeed, I also made them with DA, as happens with every human in every relationship. It's just that life is about learning. No one is born knowing.
The lies and statements full of contempt and hatred against me were and still are brutal. She caricatures me as a beast and compares me to Charles Manson and Hannibal Lecter. After months of enduring her denigrations and, when feminist groups began lobbying my workplace to fire me, I sued her for defamation.
She never showed up for the trial, nor did two men who posed as reporters for having a blog and who, like her, intermittently sought to destroy me for no reason. I don't even know them. After a long process, which included confinement due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I won the trial. She was sentenced to pay me "fair compensation" for moral damages.
Still, I am a good person who is not interested in money. What I was looking for was to have my name reinstated and nothing else, so I was not even thinking of processing an economic valuation of the significant damage she has caused to my reputation and that has hindered my work as a teacher and lecturer.
Feminists do not stop attacking me, always in anonymity and seeking to raise false accusations before the university authorities, arguing that "it is said", "it is rumored", "I have been told", "it is known", "once he cried in the classroom and I felt harassed" and other nonsense.
A couple of months ago, she finally discovered that she had lost the lawsuit and her anger and irrationality have been unleashed again. She keeps attacking me through her web page where, for a few weeks now, she has been claiming to be a reporter, but she does nothing but talk about herself; and, according to her, about the villainous, cruel abuser that I supposedly am.
There are also accusations of corruption against the authorities, that they were fooled by me - as according to her everyone around me, since outside of the feminists at the university and the "I believe you, sister", "me too" and other movements that live off humiliating and defaming men, no one has come out to corroborate her story. Because no one can substantiate what is a lie. At the same time, she keeps harassing my friends and ex-partners to intimidate them and try to get them to disown and isolate me. I have never met someone as sick in mind and heart as this woman.
The only way in which I have found the possibility to defend myself publicly for the moment is by writing a small summary of the trial against DA in my personal page, where, contrary to her - who only asks to be believed, or shows pictures of me - I share the evidence that I presented before the court.
I beg you, my reader friends, many who have suffered similar things to what I have suffered, to make me strong through your messages and tokens of solidarity. May we strengthen each other and find ways to stop this maelstrom of hatred unleashed against men just because we don't want to stay. I need advice: If the law does not stop them, what should be done to counter their madness?
By Lutz Keferstein
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